How to Win a Hyena's Heart
by sheaflower98
Summary: A short humorous Spotted Lion oneshot, in which Zuri and Tiifu genuinely think they're helping, Jasiri is just amused, Tamaa doesn't know why he's even there, and Kion just wants everyone to stop trying to help.


 **Hello my dear readers. It is I, here with another Spotted Lion story! This one's a little more humorous than the other one I posted here. Enjoy!**

 **Note: If you have not seen episode 10, 'The Call of the Drongo' this may contain slight spoilers for that.**

 **I don't own The Lion Guard. (If I did, well... Let's just say it would be quite different)**

"Janja, I have to tell you that I'm in love with you."

"You're an idiot and I'm going to eat your friends!"

"Tamaa! You're not helping!" Zuri said from behind Kion. Kion gave her a bewildered look as Jasiri started laughing. Tiifu just smiled encouragingly at Kion.

"Don't worry, there's no way he'd say that! Um, not out loud," Tiifu said awkwardly. Kion and Tamaa just sighed.

"I don't know how I got roped into this," Tamaa said, somewhat irritated.

"I didn't even want help. I'm perfectly fine!"

"You can't get help until you admit that you need it, Kion," Jasiri said, even though she was clearly amused by this. Kion sighed.

He knew he shouldn't have trusted Kiara with his secret. One minute he had been wrapping up patrol with the Guard, the next thing he knew Zuri and Tiifu had practically kidnapped him and dragged him to Jasiri's den. He didn't know how they convinced Tamaa to come here, though he didn't bother asking.

"Now, let's try it again. Tamaa, you start," Zuri said in a no nonsense tone.

Tamaa rolled his eyes, but he evidently had nothing better to do than stay here because he cleared his throat before he started speaking in Janja's voice.

"Move it lion cub, me and my boys are gonna go eat some zebras!"

"Why would I confess when they're about to eat zebras?" Kion asked, looking somewhat horrified.

"I'm not sure why you're in love with him at all, okay?" Tamaa said, in his own voice this time. Kion just rolled his eyes in reply to that.

"How _did_ that happen, anyway?" Jasiri asked, giggling at the end of the sentence. Zuri and Tiifu seemed like they wanted to know, too. Still, Kion would rather practice a confession that he'd never do than be forced to think about how he fell in love with Janja.

"Let's just try that confession again," he said, and everyone else sighed in disappointment.

"Remember, Kion. You'll want to be submissive, that's what hyenas like," Jasiri said with a smirk. Kion just rolled his eyes. He wasn't sure he could ever be submissive to Janja, in love with him or not. Still, if it would get him out of here quicker...

"Janja, I need to tell you something," he said, mentally wincing at the meek tone he used. Tamaa cleared his throat before starting to pretend like he was Janja again.

"Yeah, what is it, brat? I got better things to do."

Kion sighed.

"Well, I was going to tell you... That I'm, uh, in love with you."

Tamaa started snickering, then burst out laughing. Kion almost thought he was still pretending to be Janja, except that he was laughing in his _own_ voice.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-it just sounds- It's not right! Submissive does _not_ suit you!" he said, barely calming down. Kion sighed, now more irritated than before, which he didn't even know was possible.

"He did sound weird. Are you sure he has to be submissive, Jasiri?" Tiifu asked. Jasiri was about to reply, when suddenly another voice spoke up.

"Hey, what's goin' on here?"

Kion felt his heart pounding like crazy, and he desperately looked at Tamaa, who shook his head with wide eyes.

"What's Kion doin' in the Outlands?" the voice said, and Kion nervously turned to confirm that Janja was standing behind all of them. Jasiri quickly jumped in front of him, a snarl on her face.

"What are you doing in my territory would be the better question."

Janja just rolled his eyes.

"One of my guys ran off, and I'm lookin' for him, not that that's any of your business."

"How long have you been standing there?" Kion asked, almost dreading the answer. Janja didn't give him a reply at all, save for a mischievous smirk. It didn't exactly make Kion feel any less nervous.

"Just get out, Janja. Your little lackey isn't here," Jasiri said with a roll of her eyes. Janja scoffed and turned to leave, but suddenly paused. He turned back around and approached Kion. Kion tensed as the male hyena got closer and closer, until Janja stood right in front of him.

"By the way, don't take her advice. _Male_ hyenas actually prefer _dominant_ partners. You shouldn't have any problem with that."

Kion sat in stunned silence as he saw Janja wink and turn to leave. He couldn't help but sit there, staring at where Janja had just been, barely registering what had just happened.

"Uh, Kion?" Zuri spoke after a few minutes. Kion laid down, covering his face with his front paws.

" _Hevi kabisa_ ," he said, his voice breathless. He heard Jasiri start giggling behind him, but he didn't react. Zuri and Tiifu just looked at each other in slight confusion, and Tamaa looked like he was ready to leave.

Suddenly Kion sat up, having recovered. He spoke, a smile stretching across his face.

"Zuri, Tiifu, I have to go home. We can _definitely_ do this another time."


End file.
